Let's Write Some Limericks

Bartlett's Quotations contains many fine lines
California has many fine wines

 

Bartlett's Quotations contains many fine lines
California has many fine wines
Before I quip
I take a sip

 

Bartlett's Quotations contains many fine lines
California has many fine wines
Before I quip
I take a sip
And hope the wine the line refines.

 

An oenophile is a connoisseur of wines

 

An oenophile is a connoisseur of wines
But a speeder is a collector of fines

 

An oenophile is a connoisseur of wines
But a speeder is a collector of fines
Combined they produce DUI's

 

An oenophile is a connoisseur of wines
But a speeder is a collector of fines
Combined they produce DUI's
And sometimes relationship lies

 

An oenophile is a connoisseur of wines
But a speeder is a collector of fines
Combined they produce DUI's
And sometimes relationship lies
That result in jail cell valentines

 

Some Haiku is really a stretch

 

Some Haiku is really a stretch
And old sushi will make you retch

 

Some Haiku is really a stretch
And old sushi will make you retch
Avoid the fugu

 

Some Haiku is really a stretch
And old sushi will make you retch
Avoid the fugu
I do; I hope you do

 

Some Haiku is really a stretch
And old sushi will make you retch
Avoid the fugu
I do; I hope you do
Or the undertaker we will fetch


The hearse was driven serenely slow

 

The hearse was driven serenely slow
The driver, a beard, hoped to grow

 

The hearse was driven serenely slow
The driver, a beard, hoped to grow
His boss said "Fred"

 

The hearse was driven serenely slow
The driver, a beard, hoped to grow
His boss said "Fred”
“You’d better get a moving with the dead”
“We’ve got plenty more corpses to sow!”

A lone sock laid on the floor

 

A lone sock laid on the floor
As a decoy to attract more

 

A lone sock laid on the floor
As a decoy to attract more
But they hid in the dryer

 

A lone sock laid on the floor
As a decoy to attract more
But they hid in the dryer
And one in the frier

 

A lone sock laid on the floor
As a decoy to attract more
But they hid in the dryer
And one in the frier
While the corn dogs hung out in his drawer.

A mechanic is just what you need