Limericks

I bought a horse of a different color
Because my old horse was much duller.
He smelled like a goat

 

I bought a horse of a different color
Because my old horse was much duller.
He smelled like a goat
Burdocks matted his coat

 

I bought a horse of a different color
Because my old horse was much duller.
He smelled like a goat
Burdocks matted his coat
But he could outrun the law like no other.

 

I often light a nice big cigar

 

I often light a nice big cigar
But my wife hates the smell in the car.

 

I often light a nice big cigar
But my wife hates the smell in the car.
No more does she complain

 

I often light a nice big cigar
But my wife hates the smell in the car.
No more does she complain
because her stinky Great Dane

 

I often light a nice big cigar
But my wife hates the smell in the car.
No more does she complain
because her stinky Great Dane
Brought her a rose in a jar.

 

I bought my dog a trampoline

 

I bought my dog a trampoline
Featured in an old magazine

 

I bought my dog a trampoline
Featured in an old magazine
Some assembly required

 

I bought my dog a trampoline
Featured in an old magazine
Some assembly required
All the springs tightly wired

 

I bought my dog a trampoline
Featured in an old magazine
Some assembly required
All the springs tightly wired
Once a fat dog but now he is lean

 

Tuesday nights I take out the trash

 

Tuesday nights I take out the trash
Wednesday morning I count out the cash

 

Tuesday nights I take out the trash
Wednesday morning I count out the cash
Thursday, off to the store

 

Tuesday nights I take out the trash
Wednesday morning I count out the cash
Thursday, off to the store
before I mop the floor

 

Tuesday nights I take out the trash
Wednesday morning I count out the cash
Thursday, off to the store
before I mop the floor
All this work is giving me a rash

 

I lost the coin toss fair and square

 

I lost the coin toss fair and square
The coin went so high in the air