Limericks

The playoffs are up in the air
Not watching Sports, I just don't care
I won't miss my Soaps
Though I miss Ryan's Hope
I just have to fix my hair

 

Shaving is overrated

 

Shaving is overrated
That statement is surely debated

 

Shaving is overrated
That statement is surely debated
With brushes and soap

 

Shaving is overrated
That statement is surely debated
With brushes and soap
And steady hand (I hope)

 

Shaving is overrated
That statement is surely debated
With brushes and soap
And steady hand (I hope)
It's smooth and your spouse is elated.

 

Shaving is overrated
That statement is surely debated
With brushes and soap
And steady hand (I hope)
I hope that my face won’t get grated

This Christmas things really got crazy

 

This Christmas things really got crazy
But Chanukah was slow & lazy

 

This Christmas things really got crazy
But Chanukah was slow & lazy
Eight presents were nice

 

This Christmas things really got crazy
But Chanukah was slow & lazy
Eight presents were nice
I wrapped some of them twice

 

This Christmas things really got crazy
But Chanukah was slow & lazy
Eight presents were nice
I wrapped some of them twice
even Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze

 

Hot, fresh coffee Sunday morning

 

Hot, fresh coffee Sunday morning
The cup should have came with a warning.

 

Hot, fresh coffee Sunday morning
The cup should have came with a warning.
I set it on my lap

 

Hot, fresh coffee Sunday morning
The cup should have came with a warning.
I set it on my lap
Which caused quite a flap

 

Shaving is overrated
That statement is surely debated
With brushes and soap
Is shaving bad? Nope.

 

Hot, fresh coffee Sunday morning
The cup should have came with a warning.
I set it on my lap
Which caused quite a flap
When my scream stopped the organist's snoring.




A shaving guru once claimed Cella

 

A shaving guru once claimed Cella
creates a lather which is molto bella

 

A shaving guru once claimed Cella
creates a lather which is molto bella
Though lovely to look at

 

A shaving guru once claimed Cella
creates a lather which is molto bella
Though lovely to look at
And chocked full of cow fat