Limericks

One day Tim went for a swim
But sadly, the weather was grim
He quickly turned back
In the one ice-free track
But the storm ended up besting him.

 

There once was a Princess named Gert,

 

There once was a Princess named Gert
Who bought an album from a guy named Bert

 

There once was a Princess named Gert
Who bought an album from a guy named Bert
Burt's last name was Bacharach

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There once was a Princess named Gert
Who bought an album from a guy named Bert
Burt's last name was Bacharach
His great love was bluesy rock

 

There once was a Princess named Gert
Who bought an album from a guy named Bert
Bert's last name was Bacharach
So she gave it to her son Jack

 

There once was a Princess named Gert
Who bought an album from a guy named Bert
Burt's last name was Bacharach
His great love was bluesy rock
So she head-banged until her hair hurt.

 

There once was a fat astronaut

 

There once was a fat astronaut
JUST fit into the gear he got

 

There once was a fat astronaut
JUST fit into the gear he got
It was quite a tight squeeze

 

There once was a fat astronaut
JUST fit into the gear he got
It was quite a tight squeeze
but in zero gravity, an ease

 

There once was a fat astronaut
JUST fit into the gear he got
It was quite a tight squeeze
but in zero gravity, an ease
So he flew on the next NASA shot.

 

So I cranked up the Fat Boy to 9
Even though I had drunk too much wine

 

So I cranked up the FatBoy to 9
Even though I had drank too much wine
I shaved without fear

 

So I cranked up the FatBoy to 9
Even though I had drunk too much wine
I shaved without fear
Knowing victory was near

 

Thelma slid two cards up her sleeve
This made a curious man out of Steve

 

I laughed out loud at this one.

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Thelma slid two cards up her sleeve
This made a curious man out of Steve
He called her a cheat

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Thelma slid two cards up her sleeve
This made a curious man out of Steve
He called her a cheat
And rose from his seat
Curtailing the relationship, I believe

 

Hardly anyone has been following that rule here, BUT..........I'll go ahead.

I just made my first order for NBeighteen