Limericks

Chickens and turkeys are not very smart
To wind up in a grocery cart

 

Chickens and turkeys are not very smart
To wind up in a grocery cart
Until the day they banded together

 

Chickens and turkeys are not very smart
To wind up in a grocery cart
'Til they banded together
As birds of a feather

 

Alas, they found themselves baked into a tart!

 

Chickens and turkeys are not very smart
To wind up in a grocery cart
'Til they banded together
As birds of a feather
And Occupied the supermart.

 

The cookie revolution’s not over.
All bakers rise up and takeover!
The shavers will see
It's biscuits for me
Because I'm an old Cartel lover.

(The phrase "had the biscuit" does mean "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket", doesn't it?)

 

So many shave soaps and so little time

 

So many shave soaps and so little time
Double edge blades cost less than a dime

 

I don't know that one, but to "take the biscuit" means to take liberties, as in: he helped himself to all the scones, well that just takes the biscuit

 

So many shave soaps and so little time
Double edge blades cost less than a dime
A boar brush is cheap

 

So many shave soaps and so little time
Double edge blades cost less than a dime
A boar brush is cheap
And tallow from sheep

 

So many shave soaps and so little time
Double edge blades cost less than a dime
A boar brush is cheap
And tallow from sheep
but I can't find Shulton AS in Lime


Vintage Avon and old Old Spice

 

Vintage Avon and old Old Spice
Beat new AS in scents and price

 

Vintage Avon and old Old Spice
Beat new AS in scents and price
In bottles of glass

 

Vintage Avon and old Old Spice
Beat new AS in scents and price
In bottles of glass
Which shows you have class

 

Vintage Avon and old Old Spice
Beat new AS in scents and price
In bottles of glass
Which shows you have class
The best laid plans of men and mice

I once filled up my soap scuttle

 

I once filled up my soap scuttle
with a lather who's scent was subtle

 

I once filled up my soap scuttle
with a lather who's scent was subtle
a slight whiff of roses pink

 

I once filled up my soap scuttle
with a lather who's scent was subtle
a slight whiff of roses pink
And as slick as a skating rink
Twas as smooth as a moon shuttle

There was a young man who honed a blade

 

There was a young man who honed a blade
While his young wife was on a tirade