Limericks

I lost the coin toss fair and square
The coin went so high in the air
I didn't see it come down

 

I lost the coin toss fair and square
The coin went so high in the air
I didn't see it come down
But after it bounced around

 

I lost the coin toss fair and square
The coin went so high in the air
I didn't see it come down
But after it bounced around
I then said goodbye to my hair

 

I bought a car oh what a piece of junk

 

I bought a car--oh, what a piece of junk
Of cigar smoke and burnt oil it stunk

 

I bought a car oh what a piece of junk
the second time I drove it I heard a loud clunk

 

Sorry. Double hit

 

I bought a car oh what a piece of junk
the second time I drove it I heard a loud clunk
I was not in the mood
to check under the hood
but found a body wrapped up in the trunk.

 

[reset]

I bought a car oh what a piece of junk
the second time I drove it I heard a loud clunk

 

I bought a car--oh, what a piece of junk
the second time I drove it I heard a loud clunk
As the muffler fell off

 

I bought a car--oh, what a piece of junk
the second time I drove it I heard a loud clunk
As the muffler fell off
And let out a cough

 

I bought a car--oh, what a piece of junk
the second time I drove it I heard a loud clunk
As the muffler fell off
And let out a cough
My hopes and dreams were sunk

 

I once owned a poodle named Killer

 

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked like Phyllis Diller

 

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked just like Phyllis Diller
But I still loved her face

 

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked just like Phyllis Diller
But I still loved her face
Though it looked out of place

 

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked just like Phyllis Diller
But I still loved her face
Though it looked out of place
Still, a hug from me always would thrill her.

 

Daphne, the leprechaun lass

 

Daphne, the leprechaun lass
Was known at times to be crass

 

Daphne, the leprechaun lass
Was known at times to be crass
After swilling strong beer