Oops..Pardon the Pun..or Not...

A Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.

What's the matter?

Oh, I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets.

No problem - he says lifting her onto his back - I'll take you. He strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her. At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.

I'd really like to thank you, but I don't even know who you are.

He just waves and walks off.

I was really worried about you - says the old lady's husband. What have you been doing?

Well, I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name.

 

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue. I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

 

I'll admit it, took me a sec.
Love it!

 

My trainer was not amused.

 

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus the pawnbroker to ask for a loan.

Croesus said - I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it.

But I paid a million dinars for it. Don't you know who I am? I am the king.

When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.

 

Egg-cellent /monty_burns

 

@Erik Redd you are quite the yolk-ster!

 

I just hope that he doesn't end up with egg on his face if someone poaches his jokes.

 

The rumors of his demise were greatly eggaggerated.