Tomah toe

If you are counting cows, instead of sheep, to try & fall asleep, it’s probably pasture bedtime.

But, but...
So sheep don't eat grass?

Do they think it tastes baaaaad? (asking sheepishly)

Folks, I think Mike is trying to pull the wool over our eyes.

He must have shaved with a lot of lanolin. One product with a lot of lanolin is Stoylin SHEEP.

I hired a handyman and gave him a list of 10 jobs. When I returned he had only completed jobs 1,3,5,7. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

You retured before #9, I take it.

Yes, he doesn't work that late.

To which Kirk responded "Why me"?

That's what you get with a vegetarian science officer.

Vegetarian science is illogical.

Sage advice.

The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

I like peas of the latter persuasion.

I just bought a new robot vacuum cleaner. I named it Count Vacula. (I’m not making this up.)

"I vant to bite your ... toes" ?!?

Being a Vacula, he’s already bitten the dust.