Oops..Pardon the Pun..or Not...

This is what ya call a protracted pun...

 

What do you call a protractor that has been thrown at someone?

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A weapon of math instruction

 

My entire left side was lost in an auto accident but Im all right now.

 

I believe Jed would've Clampeditt.

 

Woo doggies..I do believe you're right..
..

 

Looks like it's going to be nesting in there...

 

That's really for the birds. He's a cereal killer, owl betcha.

 

Presenting, the NEW bark-a-lounger....

 

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.

The local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.........

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.

(you're going to love this)
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"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

 

The man went into the cafe for a drink. It was a nice place with music, bowel of peanuts, and mood lighting. Then he heard a voice "Hey! Nice shirt!". He turned and did not see anyone. Then he heard "Wow! Nice tie you have on." The waitress walked up about then and he asked the her what the voices were. She said "Oh that is just the peanuts. They are complementary!"

 

Your choice of type o's is quite interesting. Hmmm..what to say..what to say..so many options..so little time..

 

LOL, I copied and pasted this from another site and didn't notice this when I read it.

 

Ya you wouldn't want to be the butt of that joke..

 

Tush shay.

 

This could end up in a dual pun..

 

Are we hitting bottom here?

 

I can't tell yet. But, it looks like a full moon tonight.

 

I'll be en garde against that.