1. The hot peppers are just hot enough when you immediately start to hiccup. 2. There is just enough menthol in your shaving cream and after shave when you're nose starts to run like you've been shoveling snow in the Klondike. 3. If it's not running faster than you, eat it. Feel free to contribute everyone.
And I thought I was the only one that got the hiccups with just a tad too much hot sauce! Thing is, though, just a "tad" too much is juuuuuuuust right.
1. All bleeding stops. 2. Even women don't know what women want. 3. Tasty pork products are their own food group. 4. There are things worse than death.
You may think you're doing something new, but a penguin has already done it. And there's picture proof on the interwebs.
1. Chocolate is proof that God loves us & wants us to be happy. 2. There are no calories in chocolate eaten on your birthday. (See #1.)
1. Teach your children morels your grandparents grew up with. 2. Smile and hug them in public when there not acting out but the other children are. 3. Have a twinkling of doubt that your mothers curse "that you have a kid 10 times as bad as you were" isn't coming true. 4. Tell your loved one how much you love them every morning when you/them leave.... It may be the last time you ever see there beautiful smile.
We are so sorry Mr. Gemza, but the fire breathing trick does not get you a free year supply of Tabasco sauce. Mr. Elephant that was last here last week won the prize using the same trick. Only he burned down two city blocks in the process <sigh>. Now to the subject at hand ... Rules to live by 1. Never try to go five miles more when the gas gauge has been on E for ten minutes.! 2. Don't give up on your dreams because they won't grow up to be nightmares if you do! 3. Go for what you know and for what you don't know don't go!
Ooohh., I forgot.. 5. Do not, under any circumstances pass an exit with a restroom for the mrs. To use to get 3 miles closer to your destination... Not only will those three miles turn to six, but the remainder of the miles will haunt you with dirty looks.. Smiling out the driver side window does not help!!
Klingon shaving rules > 1> Never go into battle without shaving first 2> Never use a mirror for shaving..that's for sissies and Romulans 3> If you happen to use a cartridge..cuz you were in a hurry to get to the battle..never let your enemy find out you did because he'll never let you live it down 4>Always go into battle with a spare bat'lethe..just in case you need to shave again during the battle 5>A good cheese cake is worth dying for(not specifically shave related)...
