Serious poll question for mature audiences

Discussion in 'The Chatterbox' started by gorgo2, Oct 7, 2018.

?

Is unfaithfulness ever justified by self-induced intoxication?

  1. Yes

    1 vote(s)
    1.9%
  2. No

    49 vote(s)
    94.2%
  3. Maybe/Depends (explain in comments)

    2 vote(s)
    3.8%
  1. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    There's nothing in my personal life making me ask this (thankfully), there is just a long running, semi-friendly debate on this at work. So I'm curious what other people's views are.

    The classic example: a spouse or significant other commits adultery/betrays their loved one, is found out, but uses "I was drunk" as an excuse. The confession (if there is one) boils down to "Yes, I admit that I did it but it wasn't my fault because I was drunk."

    The implication SEEMS to be, "I wasn't responsible for what I did, therefore you [the betrayed one] are wrong if you hold it against me." The same scenario applies with varying intoxicants but that's beside the point.

    Important: whatever the intoxicant was, the assumption here is that it was taken by choice, as is usually the case. IOW, no one was slipped a Mickey, unknowingly drugged, etc. The person who was unfaithful first chose to drink/whatever to the point of intoxication and impaired judgment.

    Not trying to spark any debates or flame wars so please limit your responses to Y or N...but I'll put up a Maybe/Depends option too for those who are undecided or have an alternate viewpoint you want to explain. Maybe you're seeing something I don't.

    Mods, if you think just asking the question is out of line, no hard feelings if you close and scrub but I think the fine folks of TSD can handle this with no problems.

    Thank you in advance.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2018
    RyX likes this.
  2. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    What is "justied"???

    "Justified." Sheesh.
     
  3. Paul Turner

    Paul Turner outside the quote(s) now

    That's funny-I skimmed over that word as it looked close enough to be "Justified".
     
    FatherofSquirrel and gorgo2 like this.
  4. Paul Turner

    Paul Turner outside the quote(s) now

    Well, it appears we're just getting started with this survey, but we can clearly see that NO is blowing away the 2 other competitors.
     
    brit likes this.
  5. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    It's early yet.
     
  6. Paul Turner

    Paul Turner outside the quote(s) now

    Oh I know-I can't project a winner as of this time. ((chuk yuk yuk)
     
    RyX likes this.
  7. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    Yeah, sometimes projections based on polls can fail to pan out.
     
    Paul Turner likes this.
  8. brit

    brit Well-Known Member

    an ex did that to me once. while i stayed around for a few years after due to circumstance, i never trusted her after that. on party nights it was torture.never again..
     
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  9. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    I'm with you, my man, I know the feeling. Head over heels for my first ever and fairly hot girlfriend...high school, then boot camp...then my dad telling me she was seen riding around town with another...then the classic Dear John letter...a valuable learning experience, that was. No drinking on her part was involved so she offered no excuse whatsoever. She just did it.

    In the years since, let's just say I learned that I dodged a bullet. A big bullet.
     
    Screwtape, Frijolero and brit like this.
  10. brit

    brit Well-Known Member

    our kids payed a price for it..i am lucky today they are great adults..
     
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  11. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    Very glad to hear that.
     
    Paul Turner and brit like this.
  12. jimjo1031

    jimjo1031 never bloomed myself

    Going with No on this one.
     
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  13. brit

    brit Well-Known Member

    while all of us here are bound by lather and blade,a question like this is good. i am not a touchy feely guy per say,but i like threads like this as most guys rarely talk about anything but cars ,guns, etc. strengthens the group....
     
    jason koonce, RyX and Frijolero like this.
  14. Frijolero

    Frijolero Well-Known Member

    Yeah. Try telling a judge that you weren't responsible because you were drunk...

    I haven't actually been drunk in years. I've always been cursed with a pretty clear memory of it all, no matter how drunk I was.
     
    Screwtape, gorgo2 and brit like this.
  15. Enrico

    Enrico Well-Known Member

    I'll start by saying this may sound idealistic, but unfaithfulness starts in the heart as does all sin. Alcohol merely remove the inhibitions.

    It's like a drunk driver blaming the alcohol for his/her accident that kills a child. They didn't't accidentally fall behind the steering wheel and it started itself up.

    If I drink; I'm staying home and I don't have work the next day. It keeps all the possible ramifications to a minimum.
     
  16. brit

    brit Well-Known Member

    i only drink beer at home as well,other than work and the occasional car show i am at home most of the time as i am an indoor hobbyist these days. my present wife of 16 years had a similar upset with a former fiance.. it gave us common ground.neither one of us go to parties or bars/clubs.not needed in our lifestyle...
     
    Screwtape, RyX, Enrico and 1 other person like this.
  17. mvd

    mvd Well-Known Member

    My wife and I are the only couple in my family to have succeeded in marriage. The most important thing I have learned is that it isn't enough to say "I don't cheat." Even more important is to never put yourself in a position where cheating might occur. So, I answered "no" because putting youself in that position to begin with is an issue. Just like that lunch you have every day with your "work wife/hubby"--especially if that lunch isn't something you tell your spouse about and they don't know the person. Just my two cents on what I have seen around me.

    Great topic.
     
  18. brit

    brit Well-Known Member

    i agree .as much as we trust each other and ourselves, why put oneself in a position where something could go wrong..or be perceived as . marriage is a commitment .i don t need to hang out with other women. friends or otherwise..others may have different thoughts on this,not my place to judge of course. .it works for us..
     
    Screwtape, mrchick, Enrico and 2 others like this.
  19. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    I can't change the poll question but maybe mitigated would be a better word than justified.
     
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  20. Enrico

    Enrico Well-Known Member

    I agree ... it takes years to make a good reputation and seconds to destroy it; people's perception is something to be aware of. I work in an office with a couple ladies, but I am fortunate that my office is like a fish bowl and can be seen by all and cameras.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2018

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