Should You Reject Repayment for a Favor?

Discussion in 'The Good Life' started by Rusty Wilkinson, Jul 22, 2011.

  1. southernscribbler

    southernscribbler Well-Known Member

    I have done favors from time to time and when offered payment or something other than a thank you, I just smile and suggest that they pay it forward by doing something nice for someone else. As stated many times above, I do it for my own personal satisfaction.
     
  2. Joel Couch

    Joel Couch New Member

    My rules on favors are like this.

    If I do a favor for someone it's just that, an act of kindness right there at that time. This could be a stranger or someone I know or even family. My choice to perform this favor are my own and from my point of view my motivation has already been fulfilled, hence my action.

    If I know an individual to be a taker of favors and not a returner of favors I can choose to not give a favor. I don't see that as expecting a repayment, I see that as good judgement. There are different circumstances to which we do favors and to me a favor is a one way act of kindness. I tend to surround myself with people that are more selfless and giving which means that they are naturally more willing to reciprocate in their own way and time, not as repayment but to satisfy their own desire to give someone else pleasure of assistance in something.

    I kind of see that doing a favor for someone that I know is a way of saying thank you for being my friend. And for a stranger, I see the giving of a favor as being my way of demonstrating that the human race is worth something. I know I always feel better when giving and I know others feel something special from the exchange as well. In fact, I think it's the lack of expectation from all parties that makes the exchange that much more enjoyable.
     
    Queen of Blades likes this.
  3. JimPo42

    JimPo42 Purported Hand-Shaver

    The way it was explained to me is you can politely decline once or twice but if the person insists after that it would be impolite to refuse at that point. I do that for people who try to tip me at work (we aren't supposed to accept them.) I usually just get me and whoever else was around a soda in the break room with it.
     
  4. ajhracing

    ajhracing New Member

    I have this issue with my sister-n-law. She is a horrible score keeper when it comes to this kind of stuff. I will take her daughter, my niece, fishing or to a ball game, ect. and she feels like she has to repay me. She does not seem to understand that the repayment was getting to have fun and spoil my niece. I also use to work with an older gentleman that I would take out to lunch when ever I could. I did it because he was a very insightful person and I always came away from the expirience feeling a little smarter. He too would want to repay me, when repayment was there in his company and the wisdom he shared. Sometimes favors are done for selfish reasons like taking my niece fishing is always fun and we end up laughing 'til we hurt every time. Sometimes it is nice to take a person home from work so I don't have to make that drive alone. When it is between friends repayment is not necessary, you've got each others back and things have a way of evening out. When it is a stranger it is not expected, you'll never see each other again. The best you can do is do a favor for some one else. When it's family, use your best judgement, they don't always deserve favors.
     
  5. blazeadam

    blazeadam Active Member

    I almost always decline the first time as well. It seems like the first time someone offers you something it is because they feel like they are in debt, and if they insist maybe they just want to help you out too, but not out of guilt.

    BTW I've heard that in Singapore you are suppose to refuse a gift three times before you accept it!
     

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