Squirrels and religion

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by DiggaDog, Jul 26, 2019.

  1. DiggaDog

    DiggaDog Active Member

    The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.

    After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were
    predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine
    will.

    At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the
    baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the
    baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked
    the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice
    as many squirrels showed up the following week.

    The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm
    any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
    set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
    were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

    But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy!

    They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church.
    Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

    Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; They took the first
    squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
     
    Sara-s, MoAllen, ewk and 12 others like this.
  2. Hembree

    Hembree Not as pretty smelling

    :happy097::happy097::happy097::happy097::happy097:
     
    FatherofSquirrel, brit and DiggaDog like this.
  3. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

  4. lightcs1776

    lightcs1776 Well-Known Member

    That is hilarious, @DiggaDog

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
  5. FatherofSquirrel

    FatherofSquirrel A right jolly old elf

    That's awesome. I agree with Chris-hilarious.

    :happy097::happy097::happy097::happy102::happy102:

    You know, the first thing that popped in my head was Ray Stevens and the Mississippi Squirrel Revival.
     
    Frijolero, brit, RyX and 3 others like this.
  6. brit

    brit in a box

  7. PLANofMAN

    PLANofMAN Eccentric Razor Collector Staff Member

    Moderator Article Team
    Yep. Thought it was going to be a YouTube link when I saw the thread title.
     
  8. Keithmax

    Keithmax Breeds Pet Rocks

  9. jmudrick

    jmudrick Type A Man



    Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
     
  10. steve207

    steve207 Well-Known Member

  11. stingraysrock

    stingraysrock PIF'd away his custom title

  12. Estimataron

    Estimataron New Member

    Where do you find such good jokes?
     
    brit likes this.
  13. Hembree

    Hembree Not as pretty smelling

    :happy097:
     
    brit likes this.

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