The Velva Wars

And look where it got him. Banned from baseball. The AV clouded his judgment.

 

No, that would be all the wild woman and partying that happend when splashin on the Velver.

 

Abbey Road and The White Album for me.

 

You mean..................it erases brain cells??????

 

I use it almost every day. Some days I wish I could drink the stuff.

 

Velva Man! ::

 

plain and simple... it does its job, it feels good, its cheap as hell, and as with anything, if you dont like it, dont buy it lol if i had the money to spend on it, id more than happily switch to DR harris or some other aftershave for consistent everyday aftershave... but, since that crap is $35+ a bottle.. (3 oz) versus $5 for a 6 oz bottle (or whatever the hell that big glass thing holds) i think im going to keep my velva for daily use, and leave the harris for when im feelin... yah im gonna say it again.... sexy... :rofl

 

My own wife, how could she!

As some of you may have read in other threads, my wife was hiding a Target bag that held a shave related item in it for my birthday. I had a sneaking suspicion it was something to torment me with since she knows about certain controversies on this forum. I at first thought it might be a hidden stash of Proraso but knowing her, I thought it might be something far more sinister. It turns out, I was right. I was given all my nice Crabtree & Evelyn soaps and creams and my Progress razor and then handed this wrapped box. I promptly shook it and heard a nice sloshing sound but I wasn't sure what it was because the box was too big. I opened it up and what was the box? Jack Daniels Single Barrel. Cool! All right! But wait, I open up the box to look at the amber liquid and what do I find packed in there? A bottle of blue stuff. Aqua Velva Classic Ice Blue Aftershave. The outrage! The sorrow! The unnameable little .... How could she! Not only that, it was the used bottle collecting dust under the sink. The...the...OMG words cannot describe. That's when she reached under the table and pulled out the bottle of JD resting on top of one of the chairs. Surprise! I didn't know whether to kiss her or give her a pair of cement galoshes. :rofl

 

That's a funny story, Rich. It really is. Again, Happy B-day

FYI:

Pro Velva 33 70.21% Anti Velva 6 12.77% Neutral/Don't care 8 17.02%

YOU ARE OUTNUMBERED>

 

You're keeping a tally? :rofl

And thanks again for the B-day wishes. "Forty-nine stony gray steps towards the grave."

 

Yeah, but the poll attached to this thread is doing all the work for me

 

Polls lie. How many standard deviations and percentage points of error are we talking here? I want to know how scientific this poll really is.

 

It would have been funny if it were a new bottle.. but an old one you already owned just makes it even better :rofl

 

I guess Rich's wife knows what a REAL man SHOULD smell like.

She is telling you something here. BE A REAL MAN. :rofl

Use AV and Drink JD, you wuss. :rofl

 

Or she simply could be trying to drive him insane! I'd put more money on that possibility

 

My wife loves it above all others, my face loves it, and those are the only things that matter.

 

I need to ask everybody to do me a favor. I ran out of money and need your help. Please send me your velva sport to wash my rims and windows and your velva origional to use as anti freeze. Thank you everybody for your help and concern.

 

But then I'd have to go out and buy more! Winter's comin' and I need that antifreeze!

 

We will prevail. You will be assimilated.

Besides, this stuff would probably ruin your rims.

 

Banhammer. :mad:

Modban. Rarity in these parts, but fundamentally necessary.