Things for which there ain't enough money in the world (family-friendly, please)

In the Army, they remind paratroopers that the plane was built by the lowest bidder. They don't remind them that the parachute was too!

 

Couldn't do it.


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Reminds of a story I have to tell. 1953 Army Jump School, Fort Benning, Georgia. It's the start of the third week and we've just boarded the plane for our very first jump. We're still setting on the runway and the guy next to me appears to be about one step away from wetting his pants. I start the usual gung-ho talk about: "come on now, this is what we've been training for. It's all going to be o.k., etc., etc.". He looked up at me and in a quivering voice said "I've never been in a plane before".

 

Oh, Hell no!!!!

 

Um. Nope. Not today, thank you.

And that's a nope as well.

Although I really appreciate the views from up there, I don't see myself doing that within short notice.

 

Diving near sharks. Or jelly fish. Or sea lice. Bee keeping. (We were once stuck on an interstate next to two 18 wheelers hauling bee hives. I almost passed out.) Sky diving.

 

I'm sure I'll think of more.

 

Back in 2003 at a military airshow I watched my son do a low level jump from a C-17. I thought it was cool but my wife - not so much.

 

I would sacrifice a body part for a ride in that Hornet.

 

Nope.




You'd have to hose out the slide after I leave or am carried out.

http://www.yahoo.com/news/ap-reporter-takes-terrifying-trip-1-000-foot-212405989.html?nhp=1

 

Oh... my goodness

I watched that in horror... why wouldnt he just hook his hooky thing on stuff more often... making my sphincter pucker o_O

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The thing you couldn't pay my husband enough money to do is try to grow his hair back. He has grown to love his perfect, shiny head.