Thoughts about our current existence

That's a Roger .

 

Um..no... that's a pig.

 

de be dee be dee bee dee be dee I suppose you're right.

 

Why is there good luck and bad luck, but no neutral luck?

 

I can't even, but then I had no plans to anyway.

 

Putting on my Cliff Clavin hat, I would have to say that neutral luck is the kind of luck that one "expected to have anyway" when pursuing a challenge.

 

I am unable to begin to can’t even...

 

I was fixing to think about getting ready to, but you've changed my mind.

 

I’m a bad influence like that...

 

Not necessarily. Depends on which end of the teeter totter you're sitting on.

During random encounters with sales clerks and such they ask," How are you?" My reply is,"'Bout half." After a moment of silence as they process my seemingly nonsense answer, I sometimes see the light come on. Makes for other than standard conversation. Hitting the balance point where no one is bumping my butt on the ground or I'm stuck up in the air? Priceless.

 

Nutritional labels should include a "What if I eat the whole package" section.

 

Ok
During a very rainy week...
I noted that the creeks are rising fast today. The big boss piped up (knowing I'm just a hillbilly with a good shave) ask "is that creek or crick".
I said that depends on what side your on.

The response was, " good answer !"

tp

 

My Wisconsin relatives(particularly my Uncle)would call it "crick". This brought to light for me how my Dad(also a Midwesterner)would say "a-PRISH-e-ate, for "appreciate".

 

Round here it gets even worse.
We have towns that you have to be schooled in how they pronouce them.
The new news people go nuts.

Langcaster is pronouced Lank-est-er
Chuancy is chancy
Buchtel is book-tell
And
Rio Grand is rye-o-grand
Gota love it
tp

 

If I was in Lancaster and pronounced it "LAN-CAST-ER", what would the locals do to me?

 

Ask, where you from?
The rumor is that, the locals called Chauncey, chan-see in case the dry officers came to town. That would tip off the bootleggers the law was in town, and it stuck. If a person called it Chauncey insted of chan-see, they were an "out of towner" and could be trouble.
tp

 

I didn't know where else to post this, but this thread seemed most appropriate. As we head towards another New Year's Day, this is a New Year's Eve scene I'd love to see on TV. :


Reporter: Look at all these happy faces! Let's see if I can get someone to talk about a New Year's resolution. Here's someone..ya got any New Year's RESOLUTIONS(big smile):?

Interviewee: Yes, I've given this a lot of thought over the last months of this year. I'd like to resolve to make a better personal effort to get along with others, to improve my interpersonal communication skills. We must be kind and friendly to others, to keep our sense of humor on the good-natured side, rather than showing cynicsm. In these times of.....

Reporter: Just say lose weight, will ya? I need to go to a break.
Interviewee" ME? I'm not concerned with that. Do you really think I need to......
Reporter: This is.............reporting. Now a message from our sponsor.

 

@AGHisBBS, I had a feeling you'd get a kick out of this one!!

 

The question actually is, why do we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway?
Or why is something sent my truck a shipment, but by ship it is cargo?

 

I did!!