What does it mean to be a gentleman?

These days it seems standards of conduct and dress are changing. What does it mean to be a gentleman in 2019? Is it something one acquires through the birth lottery, through kind and respectful conduct, by judicious use of manners and etiquette, by our words and deeds? By our manner of dress? I have been fortunate to encounter a few people in my life that I considered true gentlemen. They were kind and considerate, spoke gently, were never disrespectful or boastful or filled with pride. They were never condescending, they treated all people they encountered regardless of their social or economic status with respect and gentleness. They treated women with respect, not as objects. They dressed well, but not over the top so as to embarrass those around them who dressed more informally. They stood out so much that I remember my encounters with each one to this day.

What do you think it means to be a gentleman in 2019?

 

Well said sir, i think you nailed all the good points..would like to add well shaved and smells good..

 

I consider a gentleman to be a humble servant leader that is respectful of others in thought, word, and deed. Having an appropriate personal appearance is icing on the cake, but secondary to gentlemanly behaviors IMO.

 

I am 50 and retired so take this with a grain of salt.

I was an Eagle Scout and served my country as a Combat medic as well as other hospital jobs.

I worked in marketing after college and wore nice clothes, but in the end the clothes, titles, jobs or even how you speak, that make you a gentleman, it’s your overall demeanor in any given situation and how you will almost always tend to take the shear force of life over letting it hurt others.

Yes you try to tell the truth, as best we can, show kindness as often as possible, try to be clean, decent to all, open doors, smile when you other wise might not feel so inclined, as you understand the butterfly effect. Why not push the world a bit nicely to offset too much bitterness.

Reverence is really about where it’s appropriate and the same said about loudness where and when it’s called for. Discretion is often the rule but for every rule there is at least one exception.

Live according to your given conscience and use the Golden rule of treating others, not exactly if how you would wish they treat you, but more so of how you would wish they would test your mum or your sister/wife//daughter...

Environmens change. A different style of reaction or way you act is proportionate to what’s actually going on.

In the end, you try to treat others as best you can. That and wake up each morning and consciously try “not to be an a$$hole today, and at night you go through your day and ask for some forgiveness for where you failed.

Things happen. We deal with people that don’t have manners, ethics or wisdom. We still try our best to be at our best.

When you can’t always turn the other cheek, the way you hold yourself and try to give benefit of doubt to others, is gentlemanly. At least in this man’s opinion.

I may not show it 100% of the time and get further less recognition for it, but in the end, it’s how I view my own behavior towards others that makes me feel like a decent human being.


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i agree sir, part and parcel..

 

To stand out as a gentleman in an ever-coarsening society, it would probably suffice being what was just a normal everyday guy from 40 years earlier.

 

"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." Marcus Aurelius

Being a Gentleman is more than actions performed to impress an audience. Those pay it forward bits of helpfulness and charity may help in identifying a gentleman. It's as much or more about how someone acts when no one is looking.

 

I am lucky to have grown up with real "men" role models.
They were able to teach me the "unseen" truths of manhood.
Treat others as you want to be treated.
A fair days work for a fair days pay
Treat the janitor just as you would the CEO.
Let your yes be yes, and your no be know.
If you say you will do something to help someone, you better be dead to not help .
Look a man in the eye and shake his hand; firmly.
Don't be afraid to cry.
Always hold a door open for someone, even if they don't say thank you.
Take your hat off when you enter a room.
Say sir and ma'am
Put your hand over your heart for the flag
Don't let someone lie to you, don't lie to them, do not be laid a hand on, and if you must insult someone be sure to say it to their face not behind their back.

 

Some great definitions here and good points. When it comes to how one dresses my first thought was it is not important. There I times when I wear a tie, and sometimes a suit, it depends upon whom I am meeting. It is not about showing off but instead of showing respect for whom I meet. In some formal business settings, it is considered to be rude and a lack of respect to be underdressed. So while I agree that deeds, actions and manners maketh the man, dressing properly for the situation is also another form of politeness and respect for others.

 

yes sir..i agree , some folks wouldn't give you the time of day if you appear unkempt.one has to dress for the date in some situations..

 

well said sir..

 

It is about knowing your audience and dressing for that audience. I wouldn't wear a 3 piece suit to chop firewood, and I wouldn't wear a ball cap at tshirt to a bank to get a loan. Propire attire for the situation.

 

Very good one!!!

 

I think much of it is simple good manners and good grooming. (By that, I mean basic things like clean hair, face, body & clothing.) As for dressing well, that is situation-specific. A person needs to know what is right for the situation, whether it is for a job as a teacher or accountant, or occasions such as dinner out or a wedding.

As to being a gentleman in romantic settings, much of it is about listening to your date, spouse, partner, etc. That is to say, first and foremost, understanding that “No” means NO, but also listening enough to understand what they like & need.

 

In a nutshell, a gentleman is someone who is well groomed and who treats others the way he would want to be treated. In slightly more detail, a gentleman:

Is courteous and well mannered, even towards people he does not like.
Is chivalrous
Has moral rectitude
Is humane
Is honest and has integrity
Is well groomed
Is discreet
Is punctual
Dresses appropriately for the occasion
Keeps his emotions under control
Is clear in his meaning, but at the same time diplomatic
Is courageous
Is patient
Does not boast
Does not drink to excess
Refrains from violence, except in self-defense or to defend an innocent person.

Oh, and is well shaved and smells good. Didn't want to forget that one, @brit.

 

cheers sir..thank you.

 

Being brave, polite, honorable, empathetic and well-mannered.

 

Confident yet humble.
Exhibiting manners without being pretentious.
Gracious, but not entitled.
Honorable and values the honor of another.
Respects himself as extends respect to others.

 

Sadly

 

A comment on the door-opening one: It's a little disheartening to me to open a door for a woman-or anyone-and hear "You didn't have to do that". But you're right....just doing it in the first place is gentlemanly.