What does it mean to be a gentleman?

I did find myself stopping just short of "Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent." Then of course there was, "On my honor I will do my best to do my duty, to God and my country..."
These are phrases that have not been forgotten today, they simply have not been learned.
Lessons like "I will strive in all ways to transmit [what I know] to those who may follow after, not only, not less, but greater than it was transmitted to me."
As a man(or simply as a human being), to do what ought to be done.
This is the world in which I grew up and was shaped. It is also how we have raised our kids.

 

We didn't have to liberate France but we did that as well.

 

France, once upon a time, helped liberate us.

 

I think the score is 2-1 USA.
All kidding aside, it can be disheartening to have someone say "you didn't have to do that" but my reply is always the same " you're right, I just chose to, have a great day" and then a big smile.

 

.....

 

I just grew up with this. My mum actually forced me, literally withholding clothes washing and occasionally meals, though I could make my own, to get me to obtain that Eagle Scout. My mum was tough as nails as was my maternal grandmother. She said my two older brothers amounted to nothing on the scouting front, so I had no choice, as she was going to be the mother of an Eagle Scout.

In the end, I learned so much from all of it and it helped me with every day life. I didn’t get it quick, just slid before my 18th Birthday.
But in most cases it became more applicable as I was interacting with adults much more often and I saw the benefits of treating others well.

My father provided a decent enough example as well.

The Army taught me that there was a time and place for everything much as University was, but with more dire consequences for being an unbridled prick to people.

I almost feel that kids today need as much negative consequences for being asshats as positive ones, but I digress.

You should act the gentleman because it’s makes you feel better about the world and your place in it, despite the bad actions of many.

In a bizarre discussion about the actions of some on the sinking Titanic, yes I was stuck in an airport for 8+ hours with my younger brother-in-law, but we discussed the small band that continued playing as much for each other and the camaraderie that the small band mates had with one another, as well as giving hope to those fighting to flee into the shortage of life rafts.

The same could be said for the Macy’s, though I can’t remember if the movie addressed this. They, being older, successful and most likely, not able to do well in the water, just went to their bed as a couple, knowing that it would be the last time. They would not try to take up room on a life boat even though they surely could have got on one.

I look at it as we do our thing, regardless of what others do. Some may appreciate it, even if it’s never mentioned.

As for all the Scout Laws honest, trustworthy... would be as much as you are possibly able, because we all have flaws and are pulled towards our own self interests.

I feel working in healthcare was very rewarding. So few really respect it even pay attention to older people and yet they are treasure troves of great information and knowledge.

That’s part of being a gentleman too. Treating older people well as much as having patience with younger strong headed people driven by lack of wisdom and unbridled passions and hormones.

I find it vastly rewarding even though I was a born skeptic. I still am, but try not to show that to the every day world.


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It's about being who you are...or who you want to become and be.

 

Excellent reply. Get the idea across that it was your(my)CHOICE.

 

As a Titanic history buff, I must amend this. It was Isidor and Ida Strauss to whom you refer. He refused to leave before others went. She would not leave him behind.

 

Thanks for the correction. I really thought it was the founders of the Macy’s Department store in Manhattan. It was what good people do for others.

I used to walk Veterans’s cemeteries on Memorial Day at dusk, lighting cigarettes and laying them down on head stones and pouring either whisky rather beer into the cup beside. If you know how it’s done you can tell so much from these stones. A lady asked me not to put one on her father’s stone. I said, he enjoyed his smokes. This peaked her husband’s interest and he asked me to describe what I saw. They were a bit dumbfounded by my interpretation as it was almost dead on. She then said it was okay but to remove the butt at the end. Some NCOs got cheap cigars as well

Sometimes it’s nice to understand some things well. I think the daughter learned how her father was appreciated by far more than her and after she’s gone he will still command respect.

To me, seeing her happiness, made me feel gentlemanly in a very different kind of perspective.

Some of it is definitely where you are at, as well. Cemeteries deserve respect and if you are ever questioned for doing anything that doesn’t seem normal, please have a good reason that explainable to others that may be having crisis. It was compassionate to at least explain these things. I think it helped her come to terms with her dad too.

As a vet, it was my pleasure to do it.




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I tend to get that response a lot but a lot of thank you too. It surprises me, granted I'm only 34, to see people of my age and under to have lost a lot of simple kind acts or humble gestures to others.