Songs of your childhood get renamed to be more "age appropriate": Bobby Darin ---Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Hot Flash Herman's Hermits ---Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker Ringo Starr --- I Get By With A Little Help From Depends The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend A Broken Hip? Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now Paul Simon---Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver The Commodores ---Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade Of Hair Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping The Temptations --- Papa's Got A Kidney Stone Abba---Denture Queen Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman; Hear Me Snore Leslie Gore---It's My Face Lift, and I'll Cry If I Want To
When you have as many varieties of pain reliving ointments and patches as you have shave soaps and blades.
…or when you see an ad for an electric 'nose & ear hair trimmer' and you actually think that'd make a nice gift for yourself!
A reporter was interviewing some geriactrics in a nursing home. He asked the first man," To what practice do you think you owe your long life?" The man replied, " I never drank, smoked or went to bed after 10 PM." The reporter then asked, "How old are you?" The man replied ," I am 103 years old." The reporter then turned to the second old man. He asked, "what have you done to reach your age." The man replied, "Nothing he did. I drank a fifth of whiskey every day, smoked 2 packs of cigarettes daily and partied all night." "That's amazing " replied the reporter. The reporter then asked, "And how old are you?" The man replied 34.
You know you are getting old when you start using words like "comfortable and elasticated" when shopping for a new pair of shoes!!