You know you're getting old when..

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by Dan The Man, Sep 17, 2013.

  1. DoughBoy68

    DoughBoy68 Member

    The worst part about getting old is............getting old!
     
  2. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    True, but it beats the alternative!
     
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  3. swarden43

    swarden43 "It's your shave. Enjoy it your way."©

    I'm ready! And part of me can't wait!!
     
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  4. MattCB

    MattCB Well-Known Member

    When you go to the barber and they need to trim your ear hair as well.
     
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  5. Weeper Warrior

    Weeper Warrior Well-Known Member

    I felt old the first time the barber trimmed my eye brows. :(
     
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  6. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Songs of your childhood get renamed to be more "age appropriate":

    Bobby Darin ---Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Hot Flash

    Herman's Hermits ---Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

    Ringo Starr --- I Get By With A Little Help From Depends

    The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?

    Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

    Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now

    Paul Simon---Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver

    The Commodores ---Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom

    Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade Of Hair

    Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping

    The Temptations --- Papa's Got A Kidney Stone

    Abba---Denture Queen

    Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

    Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman; Hear Me Snore

    Leslie Gore---It's My Face Lift, and I'll Cry If I Want To
     
  7. TMDE Dan

    TMDE Dan Member

    When you have as many varieties of pain reliving ointments and patches as you have shave soaps and blades.
     
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  8. HolyRollah

    HolyRollah BaconLord

    …or when you see an ad for an electric 'nose & ear hair trimmer' and you actually think that'd make a nice gift for yourself!
     
  9. swarden43

    swarden43 "It's your shave. Enjoy it your way."©

    ...and then you buy one for yourself!
     
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  10. HolyRollah

    HolyRollah BaconLord

    ...or two. One for home and one for travel. Uh oh…..TMI!!!:o
     
  11. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    One for each nostril... in case ... ya know... one burns out or something. :eek:
     
  12. swarden43

    swarden43 "It's your shave. Enjoy it your way."©

    Ya gotta hate it when the battery dies just as the blades started to cut!
     
  13. Barrylu

    Barrylu Well-Known Member

    A reporter was interviewing some geriactrics in a nursing home. He asked the first man," To what practice do you think you owe your long life?" The man replied, " I never drank, smoked or went to bed after 10 PM." The reporter then asked, "How old are you?" The man replied ," I am 103 years old."
    The reporter then turned to the second old man. He asked, "what have you done to reach your age." The man replied, "Nothing he did. I drank a fifth of whiskey every day, smoked 2 packs of cigarettes daily and partied all night." "That's amazing " replied the reporter. The reporter then asked, "And how old are you?" The man replied 34.
     
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  14. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Oh... I meant the motor from over use, but let's go with battery. Sure. :D
     
  15. Weeper Warrior

    Weeper Warrior Well-Known Member

    Sad but true! I have an electric one already! :( This is the one I'm looking at , now.

    A39-DV385006.image.jpeg
     
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  16. HolyRollah

    HolyRollah BaconLord

    Certainly more elegant than the one I've been using...
    [​IMG]
     
  17. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    It's all about the RPMs, man!
     
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  18. tuxxdk

    tuxxdk International Penguin of Mystery


    I have such a piece.. works great. Much better than the electric.
     
  19. emmijack

    emmijack Well-Known Member

    You know you are getting old when you start using words like "comfortable and elasticated" when shopping for a new pair of shoes!!
     
  20. Warhorse

    Warhorse Active Member

    ...when it comes with a free attachment for trimming ear hair.
     

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