Your Favorite Quotes and Proverbs

Discussion in 'The Good Life' started by Chuck Naill, Jan 25, 2020.

  1. John Beeman

    John Beeman Little chicken in hot water

    Always drink your whiskey with your gun hand to show your friendly intentions
     
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  2. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

    My uncle was quite the salesman. When a horse buyer would resist his asking price he would say, "it only costs a little more to go first class". That usually sold the horse.
     
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  3. Keithmax

    Keithmax Breeds Pet Rocks

    “In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.”
    ― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
     
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  4. Terry

    Terry Tool Admirer

    If your first thought is, "I can't do that".
    Your probably right.
    Don't put yourself in that prison, your first thought should be, "how do I do that".

    tp
     
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  5. S Barnhardt

    S Barnhardt Old, Crusty Barn

    And drink it with your weak hand to ensure a good long life!
     
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  6. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    It's a good idea to walk a mile in another person's shoes. That way, when they figure it out, they're a mile away & barefoot.
     
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  7. J_Man

    J_Man right on the Mass border

    Dar'st thou die? The sense of death is most in apprehension and the poor little Beetle that we tread upon in corporal sufference finds a pang as great as when a giant dies.

    Shakespeare -Measure for Measure

    Sent from my LM-Q720 using Tapatalk
     
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  8. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

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  9. John Beeman

    John Beeman Little chicken in hot water

    Give me ambiguity or give me something else
     
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  10. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

    1. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    2. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
    3. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
    4. He who laughs last thinks slowest!
    5. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    6. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
    7. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
    8. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
    9. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may
    be happy.
    10. I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
     
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  11. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

    Rodney Dangerfield: “I’m so ugly that my proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth.”

    Bob Newhart: “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’”.

    Joan Rivers: “The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven’t seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.”
     
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  12. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

    People who have a breast pocket don't have breasts.
     
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  13. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

    From Mrs Maisel.
    "“Ethel and Julius Rosenberg? He was on their team.” “Took four zaps in the chair to kill poor Ethel. There was smoke coming out of her ears.” “Ah, Jewish women are known to be more difficult.”
     
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  14. Chuck Naill

    Chuck Naill Well-Known Member

    "But there he was, in the paper, handcuffed, being perp-walked into the station. And I just thought, 'My God, he still looks fantastic.' No, I mean it, better looking than high school. I know, my first thought should've been, 'Dodged that bullet.' Instead it was, 'I don't know, he's single, I'm single. If he beats this thing...'"
     
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  15. david of central florida

    david of central florida Rhubarb Rubber

    Mine are;
    The best revenge is living well.
    If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you.
     
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  16. david of central florida

    david of central florida Rhubarb Rubber

    I always said,
    Drink your best whiskey first, that way your always drinking your best.
     
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  17. rmcintyre84

    rmcintyre84 Got out of the kitchen

    "Grab opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind."
     
  18. Bama Samurai

    Bama Samurai with Laser-like Focus Staff Member

    Moderator
    Be good, or be good at it.

    Sent from my moto z4 using Tapatalk
     
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  19. Bama Samurai

    Bama Samurai with Laser-like Focus Staff Member

    Moderator
    Tone of the statement seems like Twain to me.

    Sent from my moto z4 using Tapatalk
     
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  20. Flintstone65

    Flintstone65 Well-Known Member

    I don't hate people, I just feel better when they aren't around.
    Charles Bukowski

    The exact quote was based on a question:
    "Do you hate people?"
    CB, Barfly: "I don't hate them....I just feel better when they aren't around"
     

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